There has be a medium through which I can move about gracefully

I tried going swimming this morning. It was more of a controlled drowning actually. The life guard took to pacing back and forth on my side of the pool. At some point she blew a whistle, I think it was to tell everyone else to clear the pool before the cyclone I was brewing pulled them all under.

Somehow, I'm okay doing a lap or two, and then I start to wonder what madness possesses a species with no gills or fins to get into the water of their own freewill. Then I lose all coordination and the flailing about commences.

Also, I have no upper body strength to speak off. My puny arms can't get me across the pool unless I wear flippers. The chlorine stings my eyes so I wear goggles. At some point I'm going to get a snorkel and complete the outfit. Then at least the lifeguard can sit down for a bit.